One thumb, 30 thoughts.
A cultural survey on the world's most divisive emoji.
If William Shakespeare were alive today to adapt Hamlet for an internet age, he might begin Act III, Scene 1’s soliloquy as follows:
To like, or not to like, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of passive-aggression,
Or to take arms against an emoji of trouble
And by opposing end it.
Last week, a friend who will remain nameless told me that receiving a “thumbs up” emoji in response to an attempt to make plans with someone will put him on “immediate suicide watch.” Which…real. There may be no more divisive emoji in our digital arsenal than this singular thumb, and part of that division stems from the power of a hand gesture. As social scientist Mick Brewer told Reader’s Digest last month: “Hand gestures can express so many different things, like connection, violence, social hierarchy, politics, belonging to a specific group, support, abuse, power dynamics, and humor, just to name a few.” I was reminded of the power of a simple middle finger, for example, when I flipped off a German man who nearly hit me with his car a few weeks ago as he screamed out of his window at me.
While the IRL symbol of a thumbs up or down is often traced back to Ancient Rome’s gladiator battles (a dubious claim at best), its modern cultural takeover was cemented by the internet—specifically Facebook’s “like” button, launched on February 9, 2009. The early endorphin buzz of getting “likes” on your posts was addictive, and you can probably see where this is going. This invention, introduced in the smoldering rubble of the Great Recession, now feels like a harbinger of doom. Depending on the context (aka the age of the sender), receiving one can feel akin to being shot in the chest by Marissa Cooper as Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” blares in the background. Though maybe that’s just me.
In an attempt to take the cultural temperature of this lightning rod of an expression, I reached out to dozens of friends and acquaintances—from students and artists to researchers and at least one award-winning actor—to ask what the “thumbs up” emoji means to them. Here’s what they had to say.
Welcome to Public Service.
30 people, 30 thoughts on the “thumbs up.”
Marc, 29, artist: I use it in a neutral way to confirm things mostly, but I live in constant fear that it gets read as being sarcastic.
Nicolas, 24, artist: The thumbs up emoji has a rather strange history. I consider it ancient, yet it is not bound to a pre-Internet SMS punctuation combo (like :-) or xP). For me, it's an integral part of the first Facebook age: to like or not to like. When used outside of this context, like in a private conversation, when the options of reply are infinite, it seems like a lazy, dull yet efficient way to respond or acknowledge a received message. It is useful for the annoyed, unbothered or insecure person, but can be perceived as a passive and/or aggressive response when used to engage with a real text. I see it this way: one takes the effort to write, one doesn't take the effort to respond—and [then] comes out as most powerful. Like a gladiator swinging his blade in fear of death and the emperor lounging, too bothered to deal with ethics, getting high on entertainment and flicking his little thumb to decide over one's legacy. It's as amusing as it is frustrating.
Donna, “freshly 29,” art gallery PR: I use the thumbs up emoji in my work life when communicating with my slightly older colleagues and in general because you can “like” messages on Slack. In a professional setting, it has a slightly different connotation for me than in a private setting, where I honestly don’t think I’ve ever sent it. And if I were to send it or receive it, I would read it as a sort of campy move or as passive-aggressive. But in the workplace, I read it as this very neutral sign of acknowledgement and approval.
Ran, 34, stay-at-home husband: I don’t think I’ve ever used this emoji personally. My immediate association with it is that it’s used from a superior point of view, e.g., a manager to their team member. I actually have no solid reason to prove why I think this in the context of me being Chinese. This emoji simply gives me a feeling of someone being quite aware of their power over others. My alternative, much preferred, emojis would be 🙏(thank you) 🫡 (no problem) 👌(ok in a more neutral tone), 👏(congrats/well done).
Kacper, 25, curatorial assistant: I think it’s pretty timeless, but it's difficult to say if in a positive way. I’d also say it’s a tiny dash of nostalgia that I see on the regular — it reminds me of middle school and the Facebook era, when we all tormented the ‘Like’ button lol. Over time, it lost its aura? For me, this rapid clicking of the button had become a subconscious reaction in a neutral setting — I only use it as a reaction to messages on my work chat on WhatsApp. But other than that… you will never catch me using it.
“If someone younger sends it, it means WAR. Passive-aggressive vibes.”
Elias, 24, financial management student: I started using the 👍 emoji as a joke with my friends in response to my father/our parents using it seriously. I do think the emoji contains some “coldness” and maybe also some passive-aggressiveness, but as I was using it more often, I found it to be quite effective. This may also be due to various working environments (WhatsApp groups, MS Teams), where my colleagues use 👍 on a regular basis.
Nour, 27, stylist: It depends on who's sending it. If someone above 50 years old sends me this, I’m like, okay, they just mean literally “ok.” If someone younger sends it, it means WAR. Passive-aggressive vibes.
Emily, 33, nurse: I think a lot of the context relies on who is using it. I believe that younger gens tend to find it passive-aggressive and suggestively lacking in the colorful text voice that is part of younger people’s experience of the internet. If an older person is using it, I know they mean it in earnest and that they lack the awareness of that text voice. I will choose to use it or not use it based on my audience and how they probably interact with peers online. It’s also worth noting that I think Facebook played a big role in making 👍 passive aggressive because it was the only outlet for someone to show disapproval on the app for a long time. That trend continues today despite the addition of interactions that can imply disapproval.
Regine, 35, photographer and casting director: It depends on the age of the person sending it. From someone Gen X or older, it’s just a harmless direct acknowledgment. But millennials and younger, it's either sarcastic or passive-aggressive. That said, I live in Japan, and here, you pair it with an “OK！” or “了解です〜” and it's socially acceptable, kinda cute even. I even send it on work messages, lol.
Tycho, 28, artist: It’s 100% aggressive in my eyes, I look at it as if someone just hit me with one of these [see image below]. I’ve never once used that emoji, and people using it annoys me.
Emma, 34, musician: As a millennial, I communicate online with both Boomers and Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and other millennials. I would only use the thumbs up non-passive aggressively with a Boomer—like when I’m writing my dad, I would use it for its logical purpose, and he would use it for its logical purpose. But, between you and me, if I were to thumbs up you, it’s a bit sassy. So my opinion on the thumbs up emoji: it's only to be used with Boomers for its actual purpose of affirmation and confirmation.
Leonie, 33, writer: The thumbs up emoji is one I almost never use, even though I love using emojis in general. For me, it feels a bit passive-aggressive (I’ll, for example, give messages the 👍🏻 emoji when I don’t want to answer because I'm annoyed by the person). I think the only person who uses it with genuinely kind meaning is my dad. So with him, I might use it as well. For him, it just means: “Everything is alright!” No other thoughts behind it.
Kate, 24, medical student: The way the emoji comes across highly depends on the context. I think in general it’s neutral, but it can also come off as passive-aggressive (you did this *insert a bad thing*?Good job 👍🏼). But for me, it’s mostly just an emoji used to convey acknowledgement (I got ur message 👍🏼, I agree with this 👍🏼). It’s nothing I would use when texting with friends, though, because it’s very emotionless/ passive.
Jake, 31, editorial operations director: I have an open mind about thumbs up. In work settings, it’s an even mix of reacting to acknowledge an update or agreement and a means of communicating resentment and rage with zero adverse effects. With friends, it is only used in agreement, and even then, only as a reaction to an already sent text. I have never nor would ever send a thumbs up on its own—that feels hostile.
Flavius, 33, graphic designer: The 👍 Like emoji is the most basic but honest sign of approval, especially when it comes from my parents or anyone in the Boomer zone. I use it when I want to acknowledge something without committing emotionally. Not too excited, not passive-aggressive. Just: 👍. Every time I send it, I can feel my inner daddy awakening.
“It’s not the sexiest emoji, but it does the job.”
Mikelle, 33, unemployed: For me, it's the same energy of "k” when used as an emoji, which is not necessarily the same as when it's used as a reaction. I think when someone types the emoji thumbs up, it always feels microaggressive and dismissive in a way that the emoji react thumbs up does not. The emoji react sometimes can be viewed as just a cursory acknowledgment or a “like,” whereas a thumbs up feels like … ok girl good for you??
Lina, 30, gallerist: I think a thumbs up is totally fine. It’s just a little bit Boomer vibes, and one should be careful to not tap into that too much because it’s not nice. It’s not sexy. It’s not the sexiest emoji, but it does the job. I think what’s better is to actually do the thumbs up in real life. It’s funny to do it to people in person because it’s very silly, and it’s already kind of comedic. Whereas you send it as an emoji in a chat, it’s a bit [boring]. Be more creative.
Fabian, identifies as 26, PR: I find it very passive-aggressive as a standalone message (and rather rude tbh, as that person can’t even take the time to say yes/ yup/ ya or whatever), but acceptable/useful as a reaction to a message—I use it in a work chat context to react to colleague’s messages. When I use it, I mean it as a general thumbs up, but I wouldn’t use it as a stand-alone message.
Eliot, 37, business developer: Let's cut to the chase, you (proverbial) would never use it because you're aware of how powerful a well-deployed ironic thumbs up can be. It comes as no surprise, then, that the youth find it aggressive because it lays bare the social cold war we all live in—and, frankly, fair enough. However, thumbs-up users are entirely unconcerned with such earthly matters and unlikely to change their ways, so the tension remains. Personally, I avoid it, largely because responding with fax machines, dancing women, and such is much more fun. Perhaps it's time to think outside of the thumb.
Nata, 29, digital designer and researcher: I remember using this “like” emoji in my early Vkontakte days (the Slavic version of Facebook) to attract cute boys with good music taste [for] online attention. These days, I try to avoid it; it feels a bit rude now. Strangely enough, in Boomer communication, this emoji serves as the confirmation or reaction that they have seen my message, like a non-ignoring confirmation. If I get it from a friend or a lover, it somehow makes me feel like I’m being annoying. Fine, right? 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Also, the 👍🏻 has become so political; I don’t want to send this white thumbs up to everyone. A heart is definitely more neutral and cuter.
“As a German, I did not see it as passive-aggressive.”
Max, 31, filmmaker: I really like the emoji. I used it a lot until someone told me that it’s passive-aggressive, but maybe it’s also a cultural thing. As a German, I did not see it as passive-aggressive. I always thought it’s very nice and I try now to use the heart all the time, [but] I actually want to use a thumbs-up.
Isabel, 29, publicist: When someone uses the 👍 emoji, I interpret it to be them telling me to FUCK OFF (unless its a work context).
Jocelyn, 32, writer/hater: I find the thumbs up emoji to generally be aggressive, unless sent by the elderly. I never use it (I will use the thumbs up reaction, but I consider that to be more lighthearted than the pure emoji). The thumbs up is corporate in a scary way, and in my world of texting with many exclamation points and hearts, it feels cold and frightening. I hate it!
Lauren, 33, office/finance manager: If we're just confirming plans and someone uses the thumbs up emoji either as a react or a reply, it's fine, particularly if a relationship is established. If you're messaging someone you're newly dating, it seems a bit low effort. I don't really find it rude/dismissive, unless it's used in response to a longer message or one that clearly deserves a longer, more thoughtful reply.
Théodore, 27, actor: I think it’s a vile instrument of communication or an extremely comedic one. I can add that it’s forgivable for neurodivergent folks or people over 50.
“It is what it is and doesn’t have to be anything more.”
Ana, 33, music curator/executive producer/writer: I think that it works for professional relationships to indicate you got it. But for anything personal, it comes off condescending or passive-aggressive. But if, for example, my boss is like, “Can you email such and such about this or that,” I think giving it a heart is fucking bizarre and the thumbs is an appropriate acknowledgment.
Alex, 25, architecture student: I wouldn't say that when communicating online, this emoji expresses my intention of a general and overall positive meaning of the thumbs up. When I'm in a position where I have to use the 👍🏻 emoji, it's usually an expression of finalizing a long conversation spent exchanging differing thoughts. [I use it] when I come to terms with the fact that nothing can be changed, and I cannot do anything but accept the dissatisfaction :)
Jacob, 30, artist: It depends on the relationship I have with the person. If I don’t know them, I would interpret it as confirmation or efficiency (a la Facebook Marketplace). If it’s a loved one, same thing, I know they’re not being passive-aggressive. But if they’re an acquaintance or tertiary friend, I’m like, “Okay, they’re being kind of weird, I guess, or maybe they don’t like me that much.”
Jorge, 28, model agent: I use it as a simple confirmation or acknowledgment. It’s def more like a reaction in my book. Like on YouTube, it’s the “like” button. It’s something positive that I don’t attach any negativity, aggression, or passiveness to. It is what it is and doesn’t have to be anything more.
Sabastian, 35, stylist: This emoji can be both passive and useful. If you tell someone, “let’s meet at 5 PM at Bertie,” and they thumbs up, [that’s like] “great, see you.” If you tell someone, “I really enjoyed today and I love your energy,” and they [send a] thumbs up, it’s not useful and also a bit rude. So it depends on the context of what is said—if something is sent with a bit more love, don’t send a fucking thumbs up.